When We Finally Let Go
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Psalms 3:5,6
Sugar white sand that resembles freshly fallen snow stretches for miles along the deep, jewel-toned blue/green water found on Florida’s Emerald Coast. A drive along the coastal highway never fails to take my breath away. As the crystal clear water shimmers in the bright sunshine, far off on the horizon, a fishing boat chugs by, its crew searching for their day’s catch. If Paradise really exists, I can’t imagine it looking much different than this scene I was blessed to witness every day for the past six years.
Yet, with all its enchanting beauty, my husband and I found ourselves longing for something more. Both in our early seventy’s, we are well aware the majority of our life is behind us. We began to think about where we want to spend our remaining years on this earth. Although we didn’t have a specific location in mind, we knew we wanted to be closer to lifelong friends and family, all of whom lived in proximity to the Carolina’s.
Hickory, North Carolina seemed to be a reasonable pick, as it’s centrally located to most of those whom we know and love. In one year, we made the two-day trek from Florida to Hickory four times to look for a house that would accommodate my wheelchair. All four times we left exhausted and empty-handed.
Confused and discouraged from our fruitless searches, we threw up our hands and decided to stop trying to make something happen that apparently was not meant to be. We began to question our hearts desires and asked ourselves, “Are we really this far off from what God has planned for the rest of our lives.” After some intensive soul searching, we finally let go of our plans and put our search on hold, trusting that God would somehow work His will and lead us to the exact place He intends for us to live.
Before we knew it, we soon found ourselves making yet another trip to North Carolina. This time we went to Greensboro specifically to visit friends, not to look for a house. But when some lunch plans fell through, we decided to call a realtor. “We’re not here to buy anything,” we told her. “We’re just starting our search and want to look around.”
Scrolling through the first link she sent me, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. This house could actually work for us. The front door opens into a huge foyer leading to the rest of the house. The doors and hallways are extra wide, the rooms are big and spacious, and the shower has grab bars. We looked at each other and exclaimed, “This is it!”
Our hearts leapt with sheer delight. We new immediately this is the house, the neighborhood and town God has chosen for us to spend our sunset years. Totally surprised, we moved in six weeks later! We absolutely love everything about our new community and look forward to living out our sunset years within a short drive of some of our favorite people.
In Sharon Hodde Miller’s The Cost of Control, she discusses the consequences we face when we try to control everything that happens in our lives. We become fretful, ill, and emotionally and physically worn out. Our mental health tanks. Peace eludes us as anxiety prevails. The cost of control is real and evident in many tangible ways.
Reading through The Cost of Control in a small group with other women, we’ve shared stories similar to my moving story. People have lost jobs, had illnesses, and struggled with a desire to control relationships, just to name a few. In almost all situations, the attempts to control the outcomes left my friends depleted in all areas of their lives. It wasn’t until they completely let go and trusted God to work on their behalf that they began to feel any sense of peace.
In each case, God lovingly gave them exactly what they needed when they needed it. They were given jobs, provision during the times of looking for jobs, health reports that amazed doctors, and peace in the midst of relationships and events they once tried to control.
When we insist on controlling our circumstances, we rob God of the opportunity to work His perfect plan for our lives.
There is freedom in letting go. Peace is found in trusting. The idea that we can make our lives better than God can is rooted in pride. It’s what tempted Eve to take a bite out of the apple she was forbidden to eat. In the thousands of years since that event, not much as changed regarding the desire most of us have to control the happenings in our lives.
With an open heart, open hands, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to calmly surrender our circumstances to the One who loves us more than we can ever imagine. God is always present and often guides us with an unseen hand. The control we can exercise in our lives is the decision to let go of our ineffective attempts to make things happen the way we want them to and trust Him more and more.
With blessed assurance we can pray this excerpt found in Every Moment Holy, Vol. 1: A Liturgy for First Waking.
”Nothing is too hard for you, Lord Christ. I deposit now all confidence in you that whatever these waking hours bring, my foundations will not be shaken. At day’s end I will lay me down to sleep knowing that my best hope is well kept in you. In all things your grace will sustain me. Bid me follow, and I will follow.” Amen.
What About You?
1. What are the areas of your life you find yourself trying to control?
2. Describe your experience of trying to control one of these areas.
3. How has it affected you emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
4. What value do you see of letting go and trusting God in this area?
5. When you’re ready, pray the prayer written above.
